


Forced Smiles

by Ikea_Tello



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Story on Here!, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Mikey angst, Tcesters do not touch, sad mikey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24811594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikea_Tello/pseuds/Ikea_Tello
Summary: He's the happy turtle. He shouldn't cry at all...But why is he so sad all of a sudden?
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Leo & Raph & Mikey & Donnie
Comments: 8
Kudos: 104





	Forced Smiles

He was supposed to be the happy turtle.

Energetic, lovable, and enthusiastic. That's what Mikey thought of himself as, and so did everyone else.

But lately... He didn't feel too happy.

He wasn't allowed to cry. He had to be happy. He had to come through for his brothers and help them when they were feeling down.

Take Donnie for example.

Whenever the softshell was in one of his moments, Mikey was always the first one to notice. He would comfort his brother and try to make him feel better, even if that meant he had to sit and hug him for hours while the genius cried. It usually ended with Donnie apologizing and a trip to the lab, Mikey beaming over the new inventions his brother had created.

Honestly, that's probably why their bond was so great.

Leo was different. He always tried to act like the cooler brother, so getting him to admit to his sadness was harder, but Mikey could always manage. He usually pulled out the Dr. Feelings card with him (most of the time it was for Donnie, but it was getting easier for the softshell to vent).

It usually ended with Leo crying, trying to hide his sorrows in his one-liners. If Leo was really in a bad state, Mikey would end up crying as well. It was getting easier for Leo to laugh it off in the end, something that Mikey had always envied.

And then there was Raph.

A big softy, something that the box turtle loved about his big brother. Whenever he was sad, he would always come to talk to Mikey. If he needed advice, a hug, a talk, you name it; Mikey was always there for him.

These talking fest ended with _lots _of crying, like buckets full. But in the end, it made Raph feel better, so who could complain?__

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Mikey though... Who came to comfort him?

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Sure, when his brothers sensed that something was up, they always asked. But lately, it felt like they had become less observant.

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Granted, Mikey was becoming better at masking his feelings.

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He was probably around Donnie too much. The softshell could hide anything and act like everything was fine until something in him made him crack. That's why it was so easy to talk to Donnie, he related to him so much.

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He didn't like to hide from his brothers, but it was becoming more of a frequent thing.

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He'd hide his feelings from them all day, and when nighttime fell he'd cry in his room. Tears would fall like waterfalls as the box turtle sobbed, and he held onto his mouth to muffle the noise. If Mikey was lucky, he'd get at least five hours of sleep those nights, but now it was becoming less.

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One time he couldn't wait for nighttime.

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It was early on that Tuesday morning. Mikey had just started on making breakfast for his family, humming a soft tune as he cooked. Faint footsteps could be heard, and Mikey turned around to see his older purple brother.

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"Hey, Dee!" Mikey beamed. "How's it going?"

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"As good as it can get," Donnie answered as he stifled a yawn. Mikey frowned a bit; he could tell that his brother hadn't slept again. He always wondered how Donnie relied on coffee, whenever he tried it he usually just passed out from all the caffiene.

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_Maybe it's a Donnie thing, _he thought to himself.__

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Smiling again, he started the coffee maker for his brother. Donnie sat at the table and scrolled through his phone, leaving only the faint sound of popping coming from the bacon.

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Once the coffee was finished Mikey filled up Donnie's mug and handed it to him.

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"How's the inventing going?" Mikey asked to break the silence.

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"It's alright," Donnie answered. "Better than the last two nights, that's for sure."

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"How long have you been working for?" Mikey questioned, keeping his gaze on the bacon.

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"Forty-eight hours," Donnie said, though it didn't sound too confident. "I'm honestly not sure, I don't keep track anymore."

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Mikey turned to the softshell and stared. He didn't have to say anything for Donnie to know that he was in trouble. Averting his eyes, Donnie looked back to his phone and chuckled nervously. He didn't want another lecture from Dr. Delicate Touch.

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Mikey finished up on the food and placed it on the table, separating it for him and Donnie. Leo and Raph could fix their own meals, and judging by how early it was they wouldn't be down for a while.

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"So, anything you wanna talk about?" Mikey asked as he finished his last piece of bacon.

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"Not really," Donnie answered. "I think you got it all out of me last night with that session."

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Mikey smiled lightly. He always knew Dr. Feelings would come through, he just never tried it out before the whole S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N fiasco. But now he knew it could work on just about anybody, even his father.

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"Well, that's good," he chuckled.

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"What about you?" Donnie asked. Mikey looked up from his plate for a brief second before looking back down. He could feel his face getting warmer by the second.

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"What do you mean?" Mikey questioned with a smile. That had become a normal routine for him. None of his smiles felt real anymore, but it wasn't like his brothers noticed.

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"Something about you just seems... Off," Donnie stated. He laughed softly as he shook his head. "You don't seem like your usual Mikey self."

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"I'm always my Mikey self!" Mikey beamed. Masking his feelings had begun to get way easier, and he hated that. But if it led his family off of his case, then he'd do whatever it took.

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Silence fell over the room as Donnie finished eating. Mikey went over to the sink to wash his plate, leaving the room as he finished.

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"Hey Michael," Donnie called out. Mikey looked back at his brother and waited for him to continue.

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"If you need to talk, we're here for you, ok?"

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Mikey opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly. He couldn't tell them the truth; not now, not ever. They just wouldn't understand.

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So instead Mikey nodded his head with the biggest smile he could muster.

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"Yeah, I know Donnie," he replied. He walked out of the kitchen with a sigh and headed to his room. Closing the door behind him, he decided to start drawing.

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~~~~~

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He'd been in his room for hours now. No one came and checked in on him, and he was a little sad about that. Sure, they knew he could get intense when it came to drawing, but a little check-in never hurt anyone.

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He was brought out of his thoughts by a sudden knock on his door. Without even turning around fully to answer, the door opened and Donnie walked in.

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"Wow, you're not working?" Mikey asked. "That's a first."

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"I do take breaks, Michael," Donnie chuckled. "No matter how much you guys think I don't."

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Donnie pulled up a chair beside his box turtle brother and watched him draw. It was silent for a while, something that Mikey liked. He knew it was only a matter of time before Donnie asked if he was ok.

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"Speaking of breaks, when's the last time you had one?" Donnie questioned with a smirk.

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"I don't need a break," Mikey replied. "I'm almost done anyway."

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"Uh-huh," Donnie chuckled. His face then turned serious as he looked at his brother.

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"Mikey, what's on your mind?"

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_And there it is, _Mikey groaned mentally.__

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"I don't know what you mean," Mikey smiled. "If you mean my drawing, then yeah, I have been thinking-"

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"No, I mean... Something's bothering you, isn't it?" Donnie interrupted. "What is it?"

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Mikey stared at Donnie's face. The softshell was looking back at him while frowning, trying to examine anything that he could find to figure out what was wrong with his younger brother. Mikey sighed as he looked in the other direction.

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"It's nothing..." He said as he stared at the wall.

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"Mikey, I know that's a lie," Donnie said. Mikey could feel the tears start to well up in his eyes. Man, the wall looked real interesting at the moment.

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"You can tell me what's wrong."

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Sighing again, Mikey looked at his brother, the tears streaming down his face. Donnie stared in shock as he frowned, not knowing what triggered the waterworks.

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"I'm supposed to be the happy one," Mikey said quietly. "I can't get sad..."

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"Who told you that?" Donnie asked.

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"No one, but it's true," Mikey answered. "I have to be happy when everyone else is down, I have to look on the bright side. I have to do what no one else can do in times of pain; smile."

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Donnie's frown only deepened as Mikey continued.

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"It's hard... To be happy I mean. There's only much that I can take. When you guys are sad, I comfort you. But no one's there to help me."

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"What do you mean?" Donnie questioned.

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"I mean in the way I need," Mikey replied. "You guys have Dr. Feelings, I don't. It gets hard to comfort yourself with your alter ego."

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Wiping his tears he looked in the other direction, scared of what Donnie would say.

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"I get it," Donnie replied. "And I know that's shocking since feelings are the one thing I hate."

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He heard Mikey chuckle a little and he smiled as he continued.

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"But we are here for you Mikey, even if we don't understand everything you go through."

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Mikey turned and smiled softly at his brother. Donnie opened out his arms and Mikey hesitated, looking at his brother with a confused look.

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"A hug?" He asked. "Since when are you touchy?"

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"I can make an exception," Donnie smiled. "Now do it before I change my mind."

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Mikey leaned into his brother's arms and hugged him back, the tears slowly coming back to him. He sobbed as he leaned into Donnie's embrace, crying onto the softshell's plastron.

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After a couple of minutes, he stopped crying.

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"Now, doesn't that feel better?" Donnie asked with a smile. When he didn't get an answer, he raised an eyebrow as he looked down at his brother. He chuckled as he saw that Mikey was fast asleep.

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"Guess you haven't been sleeping either," Donnie said out loud. "You know, I didn't want to sit here all day Michael."

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Knowing that he wouldn't get a response, he smiled as he glanced around the room. Maybe he could make something for Mikey to help him sleep. That, and he should spend more time with him. The two were already inseparable, but the way the box turtle was feeling showed he needed more love than ever at the moment.

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That wasn't too hard to do though, the genius already had things in mind.

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**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this one! This is my first story on archive, and I have to get used to this platform...


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